Emotional pain can become an addiction. A negative feeling, such as anger, worry, grief, fear, or depression, can become so habitual that you cannot live without it.
When a person is continuously stressed by emotional pain, there are subtle changes in the body that create a dependency on stress-related chemistry. Changing habitual patterns of pain can be as difficult as giving up an addictive substance, such as nicotine, alcohol, or even heroin.
The emotional pain addict unconsciously seeks out situations that are sure to result in pain. A history of prolonged, negative, stressful relationships is usually symptomatic of emotional pain addiction. The feelings of love and pain are so frequently associated that they become one and the same. Loving unavailable people and staying in intolerable relationships, for example, are signs that love and pain have become intertwined. There are many such pain-linked feelings in the repertoire of pain addiction.
Ever wonder why you feel pain in your chest when your feelings have been hurt? Terms like “heartache” and “gut wrenching” are not just metaphors — they describe both physical and emotional pain.
What are emotions? Emotions are energy that we feel in our bodies as physical sensations. We may feel the energy of anger an tightness in our chest or jaw. We may feel the energy of fear as tension in our stomach or jitteriness in our whole body. We may feel the energy of love as a fullness in our heart and the energy of peace as a full quiet feeling in our gut. Each of us feels our emotions differently, and each of us has learned to put names to the various physical sensations that are caused by the energy of our emotional state.
When I tell people that they need to be willing to feel their emotional pain, they often say to me, "What's the big deal about that? I feel my pain all the time." But there is a world of difference between feeling pain and having the willingness to feel it in order to learn from it. Willingness includes the capacity to stay with the painful emotion, explore it, own it. There is no healing in just feeling and expressing your emotional pain. You can cry and rage forever, but if you are not willing to take responsibility for your pain, you will be stuck with it forever.
Sometimes people respond with, "Why? Why feel my pain? What's the point?" They believe that feeling emotional pain—especially the pain of loss—is a waste of time. "Why cry over spilled milk?" they argue. "Why can't we just try to find our joy and skip the pain?" The answer is: because joy and pain are in the same box. When you put a lid on your pain and stuff it back inside, you put a lid on your joy. You choose to live an emotionally stunted life. You also close your ears to the information that pain brings you.
Pain is how your Inner Child lets you know that you are behaving in ways that are not in your highest good. Emotional pain tells you to stop doing the thing that is causing you pain. If you do not pay attention to your emotional pain, you will go on thinking and acting in ways that cause you pain.
Do I have to give myself up, to be loved by God? May be Yes...
God bless n Allah hafiz,
Avi
ALLAH HAFIZ....
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